First, here’s the definition of surrogate mother you need to know:
Merriam-Webster Dictionary defines a surrogate mother as “a woman who agrees to become pregnant in order to give the baby to someone who cannot have children.” In a nutshell, that’s a basic definition of surrogate mother.
It’s important that you understand the surrogate mother definition to be completely prepared for the surrogacy journey. This six-point surrogate checklist will help you safeguard your experience.
If you are seriously considering being a surrogate in the United States or in Canada, being well prepared is the key.
1. Determine if Surrogacy is Right for You
Women contemplating surrogacy should consider all issues and challenges prior to making a decision to go ahead with a surrogacy arrangement. Being fit and healthy (physically and mentally) are key elements to becoming a surrogate. Also, it´s important to have a support network (family and friends) around you to assist and love you during the surrogacy journey.
Here are five questions to ask yourself, which can help you determine whether you are ready to be a surrogate:
Are you healthy enough for surrogacy?
Are you ready to commit to the surrogacy process?
Do you have a strong support system?
Why do you want to be a traditional/gestational surrogate?
Do you meet surrogate requirements?
2. Educate Yourself about What a Surrogate Mother Is
It is very important to carefully learn about the surrogacy process and have a solid understanding of what is being asked of you as a surrogate before continuing with the process.
Before pursuing a surrogacy arrangement, educate yourself with as much information as you can. Learn about:
What is a surrogate mother?
What is surrogacy?
The different types of surrogacy options
The qualifications to become a surrogate mother
3. Create a Letter or Profile about Yourself
To help find an ideal match, it is best to create a letter or profile about yourself (and your partner). Describe yourself, your family and what you are looking for in a surrogacy relationship.
4. Your Relationship with your Intended Parents
Before matching, it is really important to meet your intended parents (and their family if possible) in person, even if you are utilizing an agency or a surrogacy professional that has some experience in screening candidates. E-mail, WhatsApp, Skype or telephone communication may not always be truthful. So it’s important to arrange a meeting before making a final decision.
It´s also good to think about the kind of relationship you would like to have with your intended parents and how much contact you would like to have with them during the pregnancy and after birth.
5. Your Legal Position
Before you begin any medical procedures, be sure to meet with a reputable local lawyer, specializing in reproductive law and surrogacy regulation, to learn about your legal position. Also, remember that a surrogacy agreement needs to be in place before starting any medical protocol. Be aware, that surrogacy regulation can be complex, and the legal aspects of surrogacy are different in each country, even in each region (state or province), for example, surrogacy in Canada must be altruistic. However, commercial surrogacy is legal in some US states.
Money, no one likes to talk about it, but you will have some expenses during the pregnancy. It is important to make sure that the intended parents agree to cover all of your expenses before you become pregnant. If you do not have an agreement in place, clearly stating who is paying for your medical procedures, you could become liable for all these charges.
6. Time Frames
You need to think about the timing of your surrogacy experience. Are you ready to commit a year or longer to the prospective parents you choose to help? Also, sometimes, the intended parents may not be ready to begin their journey. Set up your time frames clearly before entering any surrogacy arrangement.
Surrogacy will change your life as well as that of the intended parents you help, so take a deep breath, remain patient and ensure you consider all the points in the Six-Point checklist.
Discover how surrogacy support groups help surrogates and intended parents navigate their journey. Learn about peer communities, online forums, virtual meetups, agency services, coordinators, postpartum care, and mentorship programs. Find practical advice, emotional support, and connect with others who understand your experience.
Discover proven bonding techniques for intended parents after surrogacy—from skin-to-skin contact and responsive feeding to emotional preparation and post-birth support. Learn practical newborn care strategies, ways to manage complex feelings, considerations for diverse families (LGBTQ+, single parents, international parents), and how Baby Tree Surrogacy helps you build a secure connection with your baby from day one.
Compare a friend or family surrogate vs agency surrogate for your journey. Learn pros and cons of known surrogacy—emotional trust, cost savings, legal complexities—versus agency support with screening, contracts, and guidance. Understand typical costs and how BabyTree Surrogacy's hybrid model combines personal connection with professional oversight.
Compare traditional vs gestational surrogacy—understand the medical procedures (artificial insemination vs IVF), legal differences, typical costs, emotional factors, and eligibility requirements. Learn how genetic connection, parental rights, and international arrangements differ between both surrogacy types to choose the best path for your family-building journey.
Learn age-appropriate ways to explain surrogacy to your children—from toddlers to teens. Get ready-to-use scripts, expert tips on timing and language, plus guidance for handling questions about origins and family structure. Baby Tree Surrogacy offers workshops, consultations, and resources to help parents talk with confidence and care.
Learn how FSA and HSA accounts work for surrogacy expenses—from IVF, fertility treatments, and medical procedures to what qualifies for pre-tax reimbursement. Understand contribution limits, IRS eligibility rules, required documentation, and how to maximize tax-advantaged savings for your surrogacy journey. Get answers to common questions about combining accounts and handling claim denials.
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Understanding Surrogacy Agreements
Surrogacy agreements are essential legal documents that outline the responsibilities and expectations of all parties involved in the surrogacy process. These agreements help protect the rights of the surrogate mother, intended parents, and the child, ensuring that everyone is on the same page regarding medical decisions, compensation, and parental rights.
In many jurisdictions, a well-drafted surrogacy agreement is crucial to avoid future legal disputes. It's advisable for surrogates to work with a lawyer who specializes in reproductive law to ensure that the contract is comprehensive and adheres to local laws. This agreement typically includes details such as compensation, medical care, and the surrogate's rights during and after the pregnancy.
Health Considerations for Surrogates
Health considerations are paramount for women considering becoming surrogates. A surrogate mother must meet specific health criteria to ensure a safe pregnancy for both her and the baby. This includes undergoing thorough medical evaluations, maintaining a healthy lifestyle, and having a supportive healthcare team throughout the surrogacy journey.
Potential surrogates should be aware of the medical requirements that may include a physical examination, psychological assessments, and discussions about their medical history. By prioritizing health, surrogates can help mitigate risks and promote a successful outcome for all parties involved in the surrogacy process.
Emotional Support During the Surrogacy Journey
The emotional aspects of surrogacy can be complex, and having a robust support system is vital for surrogates. Throughout the surrogacy journey, surrogates may experience a range of emotions, from excitement and joy to anxiety and uncertainty. It's essential for them to have access to counseling and support groups to navigate these feelings effectively.
Surrogates are encouraged to connect with other surrogates or join support groups where they can share experiences and advice. This community can provide invaluable emotional support, helping surrogates feel understood and less isolated during their journey. Additionally, open communication with intended parents can foster a stronger bond and mutual understanding, further enhancing the emotional experience.
Financial Planning for Surrogates
Financial planning is a crucial aspect of the surrogacy process for potential surrogates. Understanding the compensation structure and associated costs is vital, as surrogates may incur expenses related to medical care, travel, and other pregnancy-related needs. A clear financial plan can help surrogates manage their finances effectively throughout the surrogacy journey.
Surrogates should discuss financial arrangements with intended parents upfront, ensuring that all parties are clear on what expenses will be covered. Additionally, surrogates can benefit from consulting with financial advisors who specialize in surrogacy to help them navigate any financial complexities and plan for future expenses related to their surrogacy experience.
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